On my own, pretending they're beside me
by Zoemelissa96
Summary: Edward, Bella and the rest of the Cullens left Renesmee when she was the mere age of 3. Charlie and Jacob both died while they were gone. They come back after 18 years... she explains everything while trying to forgive them. Rated K  as love scenes later.
1. Chapter 1 Who I am and who I want to be

**A/N: I don't own twilight… I wish I did. Then I could own Edward ;)**

**As you probably have guessed from the title… this story is based around the song ' On my own' from the musical Les Miserable. Review please!**

I looked in the mirror and saw two people staring back; the girl I've always been and the girl I long to be. Renesmee Carlie Cullen is aged 21 years, 300 days, 6 hours, 30 minutes and 6 seconds old. She is the daughter of Isabella Marie Cullen and Edward Anthony Mason Cullen. She is a vampire, well half a vampire and half human. She's immune to the lust of human blood and eats normal food and drink, yet has to drink animal blood once a week to stay healthy. Her parents are both vampires as are her fathers family. She finished high school 10 years ago and studied at Cambridge university in England, to become a doctor. She is the girl I have always been- yet the one I wish I wasn't.

And then there was Vanessa Isabella Mason- my cover for the humans. She is 26 years old. Her parents gave her up for adoption at birth and she grew up with a great foster family. She studied and became a doctor. She was a full normal human, who never needed blood, she had a family to talk of and didn't feel alone 90% of the time. I've longed to be her for the last 10 years.

My parents left me when I was 3 years old- for my safety, as always. I looked like I was 15 years old and I had the intelligence of a 18 year old, so they thought I would be fine. They were wrong. When they left I felt lost, so I stayed in the main house- on my own. Charlie had died after breaking his neck from falling down a flight of stairs, two years after _they _left… he was my only family.

I walked down the stairs and passed the pictures I had left up as reminders of my family. And ran out of the house towards my Vauxhall Corsa. The journey to Forks general hospital had been surprisingly short today, unlike most days it seemed to drag on. I have the powers of a mind reader, but I prefer not to know what people were thinking, in case they were about me. I walked into the ward and there he was. My grandfather. Carlisle Cullen looked at me briefly and went back to the patient. I couldn't help it, but I had to listen to what he was thinking.

' _That girl looks so familiar… It couldn't be could it? No stupid, dear Renesmee died along with Jacob in that car accident 10 years ago. Such a sweet, sweet girl she had been, before we left. I will never forget Jacob, and that's for certain.' _

I winced at the most painful memory I have. Jacob died from a car crash, while I survived. He had crashed the car after trying to find the family with me and swerved the car with the ice in Alaska. After that day I never went looking for my family again.

" Hello doctor Mason, Miss Stanley here, has four broken ribs and a broken finger" he spoke, in which pulled me out of my trance.

" Yes, thank you grand….. I mean doctor Cullen" he looked into my eyes once more and then turned back to our patient.

The rest of the day went by fast, as my grandfather did not speak to me again. I walked into my home and all 8 members of my family stood right in front of me with caution and wary faces.

" Who are you?" My father asked.

"Vanessa Isabella Mason" Grandfather answered before I could.

"Wrong" I said shortly and sharply. " My real name is … actually no I'll let you guess."

" Just tell us! Actually what the hell are YOU doing in OUR house?" Emmet asked rather rudely.

" I've lived here for approximately 18 years- on my own."

" What?" they all said in unison.

"Oh but you fought for me, for 3 years didn't you mum! Then left me on my own!" I looked at my mother who was totally shocked.

" I am not your mother! Wait …. How old are you?" I could see that she was the only one who was at least trying to put the pieces together.

" I'm 21 years, 300 days, 16 hours, 30- no wait!- 31 minutes and 5 seconds old."

All 8 vampires stood there frozen and looked shell- shocked.

"So that means…" my mother trailed off.

" Yes, my name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I was born on the 10th of September 2006 at 6pm. You married my father on the 13th of August 2006 at 2pm ; actually you married him in this room in fact. You were officially a full vampire on the 13th of September 2006, your 19th birthday. You left me on the 18th of October 2009. Charlie died two years later- from a broken neck. Jacob died from a car crash- which I was involved in I might add- 10 years ago… all while you were gone. And by the way, I think your all arseholes! You left me to fend for myself! And guess what… I remember EVERYTHING!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. At this point tears had already streamed down my face at the painful memories. My family just stood and looked at the girl they had once known and had always loved.

I turned around and headed for the stairs.

" I'm off to bed night!" I said almost sarcastically. With that my mother grabbed my wrist and looked me in the eyes.

" Where'd you think your going?"

" You really don't want to do that" I said sharply and grabbed her wrist and showed her everything. How it hurt to lose the two most important people in your life at the tender age of 3. Then your grandfather to die in front of you and to watch your best friend die instead of you. The one memory I lingered on was the fact that I had…. Had …. I had once loved someone so much that I was going to marry them.


	2. Chapter 2  Telling them all what happen

**I do not own twilight … but if I did I would be one happy girl ****J**

" No Renesmee tell us all … the WHOLE story" my father said sternly "fine but you wont like it" I replied. I started to tell my family my story and how I felt, holding nothing back.

-16 years earlier -

I walked into the kitchen of Charlie and Renee's house. Renee had left Phil shortly after my mum and dad left. Charlie and Renee got Married a very short year ago. It was 10:30 pm and I could not get to sleep for the fact that I was staying in my mothers old bedroom. I noticed Charlie was sitting at the table with his head in his hands.

" Hey Gramps can't sleep?"

"No sweetie, me and your grandmother arguing a lot that's all"

Just as he said this Renee walked into the kitchen holding four bags.

"Charlie I have to leave. We can work at our relationship when SHE'S gone" she eyed me as she said this. If only she knew that I was her biological granddaughter. " I can't carry on trying to look for Bella"

Renee ran upstairs to grab more of her bags and I could hear her sobbing. Charlie ran up after her and tried to talk things over. 10 minutes later Renee was carrying four more bags down the stairs and just as I got there to help Grandfather he fell. I heard the snap before I saw the blood.

" Whatever you do… find Bella" were his last words to me and Renee as he took in his last breath. I had no more family to speak of after that point as Renee never knew that my mum had ever been pregnant or even had me.

The funeral was small but crowded as the chief of police dieing was a big deal in a small town like forks. The flowers were lily's and nestled between them on a table was pictures of Charlie and Renee's wedding days and of my mum.

I went out to his grave and saw the headstone for about the 5th time.

Charlie Swan

Died 20th October 2011

Dear father and a great husband

Also in loving memory of his daughter Isabella Marie Cullen who disappeared after the swine flu epidemic.

-8 years later-

The road was slightly icy and snow was falling all around us as Jacob drove through the borders of Alaska to find my family with me.

"I can smell them Ness don't worry!"

" I'm not! It's just that…. Well… we're in fricking Alaska!"

As I said that the car swerved out of control on patch of ice on the road and we skid into an oak tree. I looked over to see Jacobs body was almost lifeless and barely breathing.

" Whatever you do, find Bella" he said his last words and his body fell lifeless and he stopped breathing. I never went looking for my family after that, for the sheer fact that I did not have as good sense of smell so I would not be able to track them.

-Present Day-

By this time tears were in full flow down my cheeks and I was sobbing uncontrollably. My mum pulled me into a hug while I stained her purple shirt with my salty tears.

" And what about when…. When you were in love" Alice said to me and I smiled at her then looked at my engagement picture.

" He was and is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love him and he loves me. He became a doctor like me around 8years ago and we studied together. He's a half vampire, half human too so there are no secrets. We called off the engagement because people got suspicious. We will get married, I promised him that. Actually he works with me now…" I said trailing off

" Doctor Jones?" Grandfather asked as I eyed him.

"Yes, he helped me through everything. You leaving, Charlie's death and even Jacobs. I know he still loves me and I still love him, with all my heart."

" So tell us how you got engaged then…" Rosalie said enthusiastic on her nieces past and soon to be future.

" Well ok. The sun was high…"

- 1 year earlier -

The sun was high in the sky and beaming down upon us, making our skin glimmer and send diamond-like sparkles against the water. We loved each other deeply and had been together for around 6 years. Mark looked at me with his sparkling blue eyes and I could see within them- love and adoration.

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a red velvet box. He opened the box and my eyes rested upon the ring that sat there. The ring itself was gold with a single heart shaped diamond in the middle. He was on one knee, looking up and smiling at me.

" Renesmee Carlie Cullen, You mean the world to me. Will you do me the greatest honour in becoming my wife?"

The first thing that flashed in my head was that my family would want me to be happy and to carry on with my life- even if they weren't there.

"Yes of course!" I jumped into his arms, slipped on the ring and kissed him passionately as the tide came in towards us.

-present day-

I came back to present day and realised that I was sitting on my fathers lap holding the picture of me and Mark and sobbing. I looked at my father and rapped my arms around his neck and sobbed into his shirt. The rest of my family joined in on our embrace while I cried harder.

" I've missed you so much! Why did you leave me?" My dad pulled back to look into my eyes.

" We had to, for your sake. We served the Volturi for a while so that they would leave us alone in the future years"

"So you've lived here for 18 years? And this is Mark?" Jasper interrupted and pointed at the picture.

" Yes. I miss him so much… he should be coming over tomorrow come to think of it" I trailed off.

" Well you must be tired…" my mum trailed off.

" Oh no I don't need to. I only need to sleep once a week… and I slept last night. I just did that so you'd want to know about me and found out what happened and made me like I am… I don't crave blood; I'm not a monster" I informed her. My whole family laughed at my comment and we talked about what went on other than the specific events while they were gone and what they had done for the last 18 years.

Oh Mark where are you… my family need to meet you!


	3. Chapter 3 Memories and meeting Mark

**I still don't own twilight … and sadly I never will. However I do own Mark YAY!**

**Reviews people!**

Me and the family spoke for hours and looked at several photos that we all laughed about- except two.

One of these pictures was of my mum and dad on their wedding day. My mum was in her leaving dress and my dad in a suit. They were ready to go for their honeymoon, I had always loved this picture because it was natural- they hadn't been expecting someone to capture the moment and it was only until now that they actually knew it even existed. My dad was holding out my mums hand as she walked down the stairs to meet him with a small smile upon her face. We all turned to face them and they were smiling, my dad leant in for a kiss and lightly kissed my mother of her lips.

The second photo was the only photo I owned of my whole family together. Me, Jacob, mum, dad, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmet, Alice and Jasper all stood smiling at the camera on my 3rd birthday. I look a lot different now then I did back then as I grew older. I only look about 20 now and I have stopped growing. I turned around and all my family had smiles upon their faces. I placed the picture down and pulled them all into a tight embrace.

A few hours later everybody decided to change into fresh clothes. I went for a shower and picked out my favourite black denim jeans and my baby blue t-shirt. I looked into the mirror and saw only one person; myself. Now that my family were back I could finally feel complete. I had straightened my hair yesterday, so when I went for a shower this morning my curls were back. My family haven't seen me in 18years and so they don't know how incredibly curly my hair has gotten. My hair hung down to my breasts in thick bronze curls and I sighed. I had always loved my hair but I did get its messiness from my dad.

I walked downstairs and 8 pairs of vampire eyes turned and stared at me.

" Wow Ness, your hair… it's beautiful" Emmet said.

" Thanks uncle Em" as I said this the door bell rang and I ran to get it. I opened the door and there stood my own piece of sanity.

" Hey" I said with a smile and ushered him in. Marks blue eyes shone brightly today and his brown hair was slightly wet from the predictable rain that had fallen outside.

" Mark, this is my family. My father Edward, my mother Bella, my grandparents Carlisle and Esme, my aunts Rosalie and Alice, and finally my crazy uncles Emmet and Jasper" I said as I pointed them all out. Mark already knew who they were off by heart as he'd seen thousands of pictures of them around the house.

" Hi I'm Mark" he said to my family and smiled brightly.

" Do you want anything to eat Mark?" I asked politely.

" Nessie, you know I don't eat… but you do" he said and gave me a slight wink.

"Wait, hold on. Renesmee you still eat? I thought that you didn't need to eat?" Carlisle said with curiosity.

" Oh no I have to eat! I don't have to have blood, whereas Mark here doesn't have to eat, yet has to have blood" I explained.

I walked into the kitchen and rummaged around in the fridge until I found the eggs and started to scramble them in the frying pan with some bacon. I went into the cupboard and grabbed a cup to fill with my milky coffee and also a plate in which I placed my now cooked breakfast onto. My whole family- including Mark- watched me eat.

" Look I know I'm 'beautiful' and everything" I said using air-quotation marks " But this is kind of freaky. You know its weird having your boyfriend and your parents watching you eat, but then your grandparents , aunts and uncles do it too is just plain unnerving." I said and they all just carried on staring at me until I finished my toast.

" I was just remembering Isle Esme and the amount of eggs I ate there…" my mum said as she picked up my plate and washed it far quicker than I ever could.

" So we playing later then?" Mark asked out of the blue, but me being a mind reader that I am, knew exactly what he was talking about.

" Erm yes if you want" I said smiling.

" Practice?" my father asked curiously.

" Ever heard of the band ' 2 becomes 1'?" I asked my family and they all nodded in response.

" Well we - Me, Renesmee and our other friend Josh- are that band" as he said this all my families faces lit up.

" So which one of you plays the Piano then?" my father asked and as he said this Mark and Josh (who had come in through the back door only having been called by Mark ten minutes ago) looked at me. My father's face was an picture in which I wanted to capture on camera.

I walked over to the piano and sat on the bench and turned towards the piano keys…


	4. Chapter 4 Music and my talent for it

**I don't own twilight … but if I did I don't know what I'd be doing right now.**

**I don't own any of the songs in this chapter and ALL credit goes to the owners- the owners will be credited like this: **_**' the owners of the songs e.g. mouldy peaches'. **_**Don't forget to review people!**

_I walked over to the piano and sat on the bench and turned towards the piano keys… _

My hands drifted over the keys for a second and I found the set of notes I wanted to play. I played my most favourite piano piece of all time and my whole family gasped; my favourite piece was my mothers lullaby. I did not need the sheet music my father had originally written , as I already knew every note and chord in the 15 minute piece. I learnt to read music the week after the family left and used it as a reminder for the last 18 years of what my family were like. I drifted into my own lullaby, the lullaby in which my dad had composed for me when I was born. The last piece of music I played was something I had composed a few years ago. It showed how I felt when they left, when Charlie died and Jacob. But most of all it came out in a flurry at the point in which I fell in love. No one else has ever heard this piece of music as I always thought it was personal. My piece faded into quietness as I had not finished it nor had I finished my story. I turned around to see all of my family- including Mark and Josh- smiling. I ran up stairs and grabbed my guitar that I got for my fifth birthday from Jacob , and ran back down the stairs in which Mark was already sitting with his guitar.

' _I love you Renesmee, this song is ours and ours only… even if it was written by the __**Mouldy Peaches**__. Ready?' _

I read his mind and smiled. I started to strum the guitar strings and tuned it slightly.

Me: You're a part time lover and a full time friendThe monkey on you're back is the latest trendI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut you Mark :I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a trainI kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to sideI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youMe: Here is the church and here is the steepleWe sure are cute for two ugly peopleI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youMark: The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive meSo why can't, you forgive me?I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youMe: I will find my nitch in your carWith my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitarI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youMark: Du du du du du du duduBoth: Du du du du du du duduDu du du du du du dudu duMe: Up up down down left right left right B A startJust because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smartI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youMark: You are always trying to keep it realI'm in love with how you feelI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youMe: We both have shiny happy fits of rageYou want more fans, I want more stageI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youMark: Don Quixote was a steel driving manMy name is Adam I'm your biggest fanI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youMe: Squinched up your face and did a danceYou shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pantsI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut youBoth: Du du du du du du duduDu du du du du du duduDu du du du du du dudu duBut you We finished our song with a kiss that was not passionate but was not subtle. Our family applauded us and smiled at me.

" Where did you learn to play music like that Ness?" Alice asked me.

" After you left I found a few music books in dads old room and I taught myself. I learned to play guitar with Jake- he was really talented, although he didn't think so…" I trailed off and remembered fondly of my dead best friend and how talented he really was.

Over the next few weeks our band had four gigs and tonight was the last one. I was not involved with this gig as the guys are going to play old songs that they don't need me for.

I looked up to the stage when I heard mine and Marks official song start to play.

" I want to dedicate this song to my girlfriend. I honestly don't know who or what I would be without you" Mark announced and looked at me with a slight smile.

_**Aero smith's **_'don't wanna miss a thing' started to play. Me and Mark finally decided that if we ever got married this would be our first dance, as every word rang true to our relationship.

Mark started to sing and my whole family looked astonished- they had never heard him properly sing and he was truly talented and was gifted in the music department.

Mark: I could stay awake just to hear you breathingWatch you smile while you are sleepingWhile you're far away and dreamingI could spend my life in this sweet surrenderI could stay lost in this moment foreverWhere every moment spent with you is a moment I treasureDon't want to close my eyesI don't want to fall asleepCause I'd miss you babeAnd I don't want to miss a thingCause even when I dream of youThe sweetest dream will never doI'd still miss you babeAnd I don't want to miss a thingLying close to you feeling your heart beatingAnd I'm wondering what you're dreamingWondering if it's me you're seeingThen I kiss your eyesAnd thank God we're togetherI just want to stay with you in this moment foreverForever and everI don't want to close my eyesI don't want to fall asleepCause I'd miss you babeAnd I don't want to miss a thingCause even when I dream of youThe sweetest dream will never doI'd still miss you babeAnd I don't want to miss a thingI don't want to miss one smileI don't want to miss one kissI just want to be with youRight here with you, just like thisI just want to hold you closeFeel your heart so close to mineAnd just stay here in this momentFor all the rest of time

Yeah yeah yeah

As he sang the last three words a huge canvas banner fell from above the stage and read ' Renesmee Carlie Cullen… Will you marry me?' I looked at the banner with shock and smiled. I ran through the crowds up to the front of the stage where I looked at my boyfriend.

Mark: I don't want to close my eyesI don't want to fall asleepCause I'd miss you babeAnd I don't want to miss a thingCause even when I dream of youThe sweetest dream will never doI'd still miss you babeAnd I don't want to miss a thingI Don't want to close my eyesI don't want to fall asleepCause I'd miss you babeAnd I don't want to miss a thingCause even when I dream of youThe sweetest dream will never doI'd still miss you babeAnd I don't want to miss a thingDon't want to close my eyesI don't want to fall asleepAnd I don't want to miss a thing

I got up onto the stage just as he finished singing and kissed him passionately. I was so happy in this moment. I was happier this time than I was the last when- we had got engaged previously. I was happier because my family could finally see me happy; without them wondering if I was happy , they would actually know.

Mark got down on one knee and opened a red velvet box- much like the original. Inside as a diamond encrusted Claddagh engagement ring and a diamond encrusted silver band -shaped to fit the Claddagh ring.

"Yes, you idiot! I will marry you this time!" I said as he slid the engagement ring onto the third finger on my left hand. Mark was Irish and so giving me the traditional Irish engagement/ wedding ring was not out of the ordinary. I kissed him once more with such a passion that I forgot that there was an audience watching us. I heard many applauds come from the audience below and I smiled into the kiss. In that moment I simply didn't care- this was about me - Renesmee Carlie Cullen- and my fiancé - Mark Anthony Jones and no one else.


	5. Chapter 5 Wedding plans

**A/N: I still don't own twilight and I am deeply depressed because of this fact. **

**I may/ may not use some songs in this chapter, but if I do ALL CREDIT goes to the owners. **

We got home a few hours later and Alice was already- trying I might add- planning the wedding.

"So 1) we've got to get the dress. 2) shoes 3) sort the date….. Sounds like a plan for me; the one and only Alice!" Alice said excitedly. However what she didn't know is that I already have a date, shoes and I certainly already have "the" dress. My dad laughed listening into my thoughts and Alice soon snapped her head around towards him.

" What's so funny?" she asked him with a stern face.

" Ask my daughter" he replied and looked at me. All of my families eyes were on me, waiting for me to tell the inside joke.

" Alice you fail at being my wedding planner.." she looked at me hurt and tried to cut me off ,when I started to explain what I meant. " I have a dress, I have shoes and I've had a date set since we first got engaged… will you and rose be my bridesmaids?" I asked.

" What's the date going to be then?" she asked with curiosity.

" My birthday" I said with confidence. Me and Mark had chosen my birthday as it had been the date we got engaged and it was the day I was born; the day the sun would slowly rise in his life.

" Wait… you want us" she pointed to herself and Rosalie. " To be your bridesmaids?" she asked excitedly.

" Yes Alice- you're an expert on make up so I'm sure you can make yourself and the rest of you look like your at least 30"

" Hang on did you just say your birthday… isn't that like two weeks away?" Esme asked.

" Already sent the invites. The wedding and reception is going to be held here and we haven't decided on the honeymoon yet…" I said trailing off knowing that she would understand where I have always wanted to go.

" Yes you can Isle Esme… as long as you don't bite ANY pillows or break my headboard" she looked at me then turned towards my parents as she said this and the whole family laughed.

" Been there, done that and certainly got the t-shirt"

" What?" Esme asked surprised.

" We visited isle esme a couple of years ago- nice place. Mark here kinda got a bit carried away and bit the pillows while I broke the headboard…. Oh the fun we had" I said winking at him. " Didn't you notice the replacements?" I asked.

" No; no one has been there since you were conceived" Emmet said and laughed at his own joke.

-2 weeks later-

I looked at myself in my dress and smiled. I liked the way the satin hung on my body and the way the diamantes, crystals and sequins sat on the bodice. The shoulder straps of the dress were also decorated with the crystals and hung just below my shoulder. My hair was in a half- up do and had my tight pin curls hanging down from it with my veil slid in securely at the top. I was wearing the locket that my parents bought for me 21 years ago and my shoes were a pair elegant heels with only this straps and open toe ends. I heard a knock on the door and I instantly knew it was my family.

" Come in" I called and all 8 of my family stepped in and stopped to look at me as they took a good look at me.

" Wow you look… absolutely stunning and I can't believe that my 22 year old daughter is getting married" my mum said and if she could cry, I'm sure she would be crying her eyes out by now.

" Thank you mum." I said smiling and turned back towards the long mirror and took a deep breath. I wasn't worried about my wedding- not at all, I was just thinking was I beautiful enough for Mark.

" Dad can I ask you something?" I asked my dad and turned to face him to look into his eyes. " Will you give me away?"

" Of coarse I will sweetheart" he said while walking over to me and giving me a light hug.

My family walked out of the room and down stairs ready to start.

The music started and I recognised my cue. We walked down the stairs of my home and into the room where everyone looked at me and "awed" I searched for the only face that mattered and he smiled me and I read his thoughts.

" _I love you and you look absolutely beautiful. No man could ever ask for more right now and I'm glad I'm just about to make you mine forever" _that would have been enough for me to sprint down the aisle, however I paced my steps to the music. I reached the alter and took his hand in mine.

We listen to the priest say his words until it is time to say our vows.

" I Mark Anthony Jones do take thee ;Renesmee Carlie Cullen ,to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live." He said these words and smiled at me.

" I Renesmee Carlie Cullen do take thee ;Mark Anthony Jones, to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live." I said confidently and gave him a smile that he has always loved.

" I do" he said smiling.

" I do" I said with an even bigger smile upon my face.

" I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride" the priest said. Mark pulled my lips to his with fierceness and kissed me passionately - but not to passionately because of the audience in the background.

He turned our bodies and everyone applauded at us. My family smiled and I knew that finally I could have my happily ever after and get my family I've always wanted with Mark and have the family I've always had to be happy with me.

Now it's time for a huge piss up and for the speeches to begin… hmmm time for some vodka I think!


End file.
